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SO I THOUGHT
by S. Marie Hugo

Dedicated to Mary Grace Hugo.
My mother, a women of strength whom I became close friends with after the suicide of my father. She died at the age of 61 of lung complications on April 27th, 1993, nine years after the death of my father, Arthur.

SO I THOUGHT

Mom grieved as she
erased all memory of
you from her life.

So I thought.

Frilly feminine wallpaper
now hangs on your
bathroom walls.

Dresser drawers stay empty.
Living room walls no longer
hold your face,
keeping you out of her sight.

So I thought.

Your unexpected death
caused her deep affliction
never being able to speak
your name again.

So I thought.

As Mom lay comatose
I whispered,
Daddy's waiting for you now,
he still loves you.
As she wrestled and moaned
it made me doubt the words
 I just uttered.

So I thought.

On the eve of Mom's
eternal journey,
a feeling of peace and
contentment overflowed
inside of me.
I no longer have to doubt
Mom's love for you.

Longing to hold her close
I search through her purse,
touching her trinkets and
smelling her scent.
Fondling her wallet
 it softly opens.
My eyes find you.

She held you closer than
a picture on a wall.

Daddy, you may now hold Mom
forever,
as she always held you.
1999 S. Marie Hugo

About S. Marie Hugo
S. Marie Hugo, Author of TENDERPAIN..After Daddy's Suicide..a poetic journey, (ISBN 0-9704463-0-6) a poetic memoir of a father's life and tragic death seen through the eyes of his daughter. This compelling collection of verses will show a satisfying blend of strength, hope, survival and love throughout the authors healing journey. S. Marie lives in a city once called a village, Essexville, Michigan. The craft she calls her most loved passion is writing children's picture books. Visit Marie Hugo at Hugo's Haven.