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The Greatest Gift Of All,
Memories Of You Daddy
by Karen
L. Boutot (Camp)
Growing up you sat by the side of my
bed, and took away all of my my pain, sadness and fears.
Now, I sit by
your side trying to do the same, but I don't have the strength of the Lord to
ease your pain, sadness, and fears.
You've always talked to me and
understood me when no one else did.
Now I sit by your bedside and talk
to you, and try to understand what is happening, and you don't even know me, and
I don't understand anything at all.
You bathed, changed, dressed, and
fed me, and never complained, but felt blessed at having a second chance at
having a family, to make amends with your self from what happened in the first
family.
Now, I bath, change, dress, and feed you, and don't understand
why you're punishing me in this way.
You taught me how to be strong,
hardworking, and never give up, no matter what got thrown my way.
Now I
sit by your bedside, watching you so weak, and not wanting to get out of bed,
and now, just giving up on life.
You gave me my bright blue eyes with a
glisten in them, now I sit by your bedside, and see nothing but black holes, of
what used to be glowing with life.
You gave me strong hands like
yours.
Now I sit by your bedside, and you can't even lift your hand to
hold mine.
You once had alot of pride and passed that on to me.
Now
I sit by your bedside and watch you be distant and with no pride left.
You
always gave me hope when life threw me nasty blows.
Now I sit by your
bedside, with no hope at all.
You taught me to get up when I
fall.
Now I sit by your bedside watching you not want to get up at
all.
You held me in your arms when I took my first breath in this
world.
Now, I'm by your bedside, holding you in my arms, while you're
taking your last breath in this world.
You always told me that you would
never leave me, and would always be there when I needed you.
Now, I'm by
your bedside, watching you leave me forever, and there's nothing I can
do.
You always told me that you would never do anything to hurt
me.
But, you gave me the worst hurt of all, on that stormy Wednesday,
September, 8, 2004 morning, when you died in my arms.
A big part of me
thanks the lord for finally giving you peace, and taking away your pain and
suffering.
But part of me resents you, for leaving me and giving me all
this pain and remorse, when you finally have eternal peace and are free of the
pain and suffering being all that you knew anymore.
What was left of a
father, I once knew, Is now a container of ashes and ground up sand on top of my
t.v.
I know it's really wrong to feel this way.
Because the
daddy that raised me, taught me to forgive and get back up when I fall, and be
strong and determined when life throws curb balls my way, it feels like I lost
that person that you made me to be.
I know that that person that you
made me to be, is still there.
I just need to find her again.
It
killed me watching you die from November 29, 2003, 'til now at
home.
But, I have to realize that you've given me the greatest gift of
all, out of 14 siblings, you died in my arms, not theirs.
I had the
greatest gift of all, holding you in my arms, when the good lord decided it was
time to take you to the most beautiful place in this world, to walk by his side,
and finally be at peace, and pain free and most of all, happy!!!
You
finally have everlasting peace, and happiness, with all of the loved ones you've
lost in your lifetime.
You are finally at peace daddy, Who am I to
begrudge you that.
Hopefully one day I will be at peace with the loss of
you.
I love you daddy, and I thank you for giving me life.
And
most of all, giving me the gift of you.
I am proud that you were my
father, and wouldn't change a thing, for I am your creation and proud of
it.
I'll forever love and cherish your memory daddy.
I'll love
you always daddy.
Karen L. Boutot (Camp)
In loving
memory of Harry P. Camp (Campy)
Born August 31, 1913 Dyed September 8,
2004
About Karen
L. Boutot (Camp)
Notes From The Author:
You may
e-mail me with any comments about my poetry.
I am just a woman trying to get
past the loss of her father. I thank my father for making me who I am, and to
continue his legacy with my children and their children. Thank you daddy. I love
you.
Karen L. Boutot (Camp)
18 Sept 2004
Dedication: To The
Greatest Father Of All Times
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